The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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