batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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