We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
