i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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