so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
