I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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