I heard we made out
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I love you.
Bad choice
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
