I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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