Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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