I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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