I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
