i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
