oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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