you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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