Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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