Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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