I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
