No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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