I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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