She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
