My nipple is on Facebook.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
two words...techno handjob
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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