They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
