Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize