You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize