I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
