Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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