Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize