just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
