I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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