They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
