you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
