I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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