how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
