I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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