I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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