im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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