You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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