I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I understand Curling. That high.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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