I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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