i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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