drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
