You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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