Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
