You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
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There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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