It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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