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Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
