Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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