We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
