your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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