i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
