I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
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A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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