Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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