you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
