Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
