It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Found your dick twin last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
