are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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