I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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